Lived Experience Forum

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1

The meetings are all about that, but I think I offended some people the previous time I was attending, there's still support if I call someone, but it can be like a broken record, because the are not mental health experts.

Yea regards you health. I kind of like depression, my experience of depression is spending time lying around, having no motivation to do anything, struggling to take care of myself, letting relationships go stagnant, being care free and laid back, just getting bye, but still having the odd good day. Ya see, I'm probably on the other end of things, anxious, wound up, irritable, problems sleeping, can't stop, rest and relax properly. The outside world is oblivious and probably cannot notice, does not feel what's going on and cannot see what's going on. Basically, my psychical and mental health are in limbo... It's not good...

Is your son taking his medication? I remember when I would my mum icy cold messages, I did it because I blamed her and wanted her to fix the problem, plus didn't have what I needed and expected her to do something about it, it's definitely not a good position to be in, I've heard of a few similar cases. He probably feels wronged bye you, and is trying to do wrong in return. I was also seeking that approval, recognition and validation from my mum. I also had the same small foundations of my own life going on, I had the opposite going on inside my mind all the time, I had to be Democratic about what I said, be reasonable, be fair, be understanding, and tap into the other side of the story.

I woke at around 3am this morning, so I made a black coffee, rolled a smoke, checked the Internet and decided to stay up, it makes no real difference once the day gets under way. Facing each morning is a daunting prospect. Eude

Ps I hope you have a good morning and a great day.

[eudemonism]

@Grasshopper3 good morning, how are you going? Any progress with the son? Eude.

[Grasshopper3]

@eudemonism

Morning Eude! 

I woke up a while ago and can't get back to sleep either, so made myself a cuppa tea and had a muffin. I know, bad choice I shouldn't eat during the early morning hours! 

It so very interesting to read your convo with @Sophia1. 

It must help her a lot how you explain how you felt about your mum at times. I get that you want her to 'fix' it and how you feel misunderstood all the time. 

My son is doing ok, although he likes his beers. He is still taking his meds and told me the other day if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't bother.

I'm trying to figure out his triggers and loneliness is one of them. He's not doing good all by himself all day, when I'm at work. He is slowiy starting to make social contacts around him, and goes to a job agency every fortnight by himself, also seeing a chiro by himself. 

If he has nothing to do he walks to the bottlo and buys himself a sixpack.

He doesnt want to earn money as he knows he will spend it all on alcohol he says.

I am currently thinking of setting up a trustfund or something, where he (and I) can deposit money in and he can't take it out by himself? 

Anyway, small steps at the time,  @Sophia1  and Eude, I am here for you if you need a chat.

Grasshopper3

[Sophia1]

Good morning @eudemonism @Grasshopper3

I am more an early bird......not up before 5am though...hopefully you both have a good block of sleep tonight...

I know that feeling where the mind will just not switch off....

Eude ...I imagine that the concept of talking about why you drink would be hard with others....you have just started going...as hard as it might be try not to focus on someone who might be offended....they might just be going through a rough time with their own triggers....ring the person who has offered support when you feel triggered and tempted to have a drink...that person is letting you know that they  are there for you...

there was a post some time ago started by Utopia about the difficulty in stopping alcohol....you could do a few word searches on here and see what pops up...you might find some similar feelings to yours...

Eude.,..Grasshopper....my "family member" has an icy tone voice talking about others....he believes that he and myself are in danger ...our lives...the icy tone is not him talking...it is the voice of one of the delusions..

no is not on medication...he possibly has some anger with me...as his mum wanting me to fix it as you said...not understandng why this is happening to him...the little boy in him wanting all of the bad stuff to go away...I understand that...a natural reaction...Of course I just want to hug him and hold him....

windy here again today...cloudy...

need to get to the library again ...possibly tomorrow when I go to the physiotherapist...will try to find a more humourous book to read...the one that I am reading is very good...sad though...is about racism...do not need more sad at the moment...

am distracting myself with old historic buildings and places... on living with ourselves thread...I love the history and different cultures all over the world...

speak soon

Sophia

[Sophia1]

hello again @eudemonism

if you are interested 

I did a bit of a search re alcohol triggers and found these four threads..words from others on here struggling and their ideas..

you will have to type them into the search bar as I do not know how to link them

 "Any recoverying alcoholic or alcoholic in the forum," 

"Going off alcohol," 

"I think i may be an alcoholic," 

Alcohol & Personality Changes

[eudemonism]

@Grasshopper3 I'm in a similar dilemma, I'm around people 'like myself' loneliness is definitely a trigger. I sometimes don't speak my mind to those visiting me, or want to say something to those who I'm visiting, and if I don't, I bottle it up in the unconscious. I'd truly be hopeless if I had to live with someone else permanently. Once it gets bottled up in the unconscious, it's hard to get out without getting, a little worked up, stuff like table manners, etiquette, morals, standards, guidelines, being as independent as possible, respecting people and their personal space. It all balances out though I suppose... If your friends an family don't tell you how it is, who will?

There's that power struggle for superiority, an individuals interpretation of right and wrong upon others. Giving and receiving it...

I rebuked this guy about his drinking, and I said a few words, tried to influence him into rethinking and not drinking, I've spent a lot of time with him in recent months. It's my own fault as much as his, we sort of care for one another, or find up social needs within each other... And it's very testing at times...because after spending so much time with someone, you find out all the good and bad bits of their personality, which pretty much cannot be changed, but at left to deal with regardless. You know! Then a woman once in awhile comes onto the scene and oh jeez, I really have to hold my tongue, and every time I do that, my unconscious mind begins filling up with resentment, which is a direct result of other people's behaviours which I can't control, but expect to be better than what they are. Too bad if I Don like my life and my situation... Eude

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1 Yea OK, I'll have to reply at a later time or in the morning. I'm feeling very tired at the moment mate thanks for understanding. Eude.

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1 good morning... How are you feeling today? Got anything planned? Today I get my advance money, so I'll be doing some things down the street, I didn't want to borrow money as it needs to be paid back, and impacts my total amount each fortnight. So I'm spending it wisely...

I'm wanting more out of life hey, I struggle to cook and prepare myself decent food on a regular basis, eating healthy and a healthy lifestyle is hard work. Can't seem to get it right and I can't seem to win. Eude.

[Sophia1]

good morning @eudemonism

It is good that you have access to an advance if you have a need to stock up on quality food..

Yes you have to pay it back...however if you went shopping each fortnight when you receive your pension you would still be paying that amount on food...

The hardest part is not to spend it all at once....

frozen vegetables are a great stand by when not feeling motivated...

off to library hopefully today after physiotherapist...

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1 Yea I'm great at spending money 😊 I'll work it out, I'll get there in the end... I've been getting up rather early the last few days, I'm not sure why, but I'm trying to make the most of it.

I got the hand casters and fishing line I been wanting to get for a few weeks now. Dog I registered. I got some molasses. I got a couple tickets. But couldn't register my car for another twelve months as I haven't even started the three months rego I paid for awhile ago. Can't double bank the rego up or something, so u have to wait until next Monday.

I seen mum and dad yesterday. Seeing them get older is a bit worrying. But they seem well with all things considered.

Some of the books I ordered from the library have come in. I got a text yesterday afternoon to let me know they were in. So I went and loaned them out and have begun reading. It's really great to read about stuff from the treatment side of things, rather then being treated side of things. I'm finding an abundance of good information that I'm learning from. All very relevant to people and life in general.

How was library and physiotherapist session? Eude.