Community

[Tiner]

I'm not sure where to start, about 6 months ago I found evidence of my 13yr old daughter self-harming [edited by moderator] herself, I removed all sharp tools from her and told her it was ok, she wasn't in trouble I am just worried. I stopped finding anything concerning very quickly after that. 

TW: Self-harming

Content/trigger warning

Today I saw a glimpse of a cut on her wrist and I pulled up her sleeve to find her entire arm covered in cuts and healed scars, there were so many! 

I just found a 'cut kit' in her room [edited by moderator]

Should I be doing something immediately or is it OK to wait to hear back from her psychologist? How worried should I be? I'm so scared that something will escalate now that she knows I know 😭

[RiverSeal]

Hey @Tiner, thank you for joining the Forums and sharing your and your daughter's experiences with the community! 

It sounds like you are going through a tough time right now and it must be hard to see your daughter going through her own MH. You are being really brave in reaching out to your peers here on the Forums and being vulnerable.

We have a factsheet that might provide you with some understanding and guide you in supporting your daughter: Self-harm (sane.org)

I encourage you to continue to reach out and share your experiences with the community!

Take care

RiverSeal 

[Tiner]

Than you so much for your reply, and for that link. 

I am seeking help for my own MH currently and I'm going my girls pysch will have some input tomorrow. 

Many thanks

[tyme]

Hey there @Tiner ,

Welcome to the forums. Just a quick note that I've edited your posts to remove the self-harm method as per our Community Guidelines. I've also added a trigger warning and a spoiler.

I'm sorry to hear you have found yourself in this situation. I totally recognise how confronting this can be.

I've worked with a lot of young people, and we are seeing more and more of this behaviour from even children in primary school.

It sounds like you were very open with your daughter and you remained calm - this is so important. 

Has she managed to talk to you?

From my personal experiences of self-harm, the best help was from the people who focused on the underlying issues and not the self-harm. Of course if medical attention was needed, I got it, but working with the drivers of self-harm was key to harm minimisation.

Hope it goes well tomorrow @Tiner 

Looking forward to hearing from you.

[Tiner]

I do apologise for my mis-step with the wording used, thank you for the edit. 

Ihave always strived to be a safe place for my children and it reflects with my eldest, she has always confided in me but my youngest in question has never been able to have a conversation about emotions, she is completely closed off so no, I haven't been able to talk to her about it unfortunately, she has been in her room most of the day since so I just keep checking on her while trying to keep it casual you know. 

Fingers crossed for thoughts from her psych tomorrow. 

Thank you for taking The time 

Many thanks 

[tyme]

It's true. Children, even from the same parents, can be VERY different @Tiner .

They have different personalities and dispositions, then environmental factors can turn these traits 'on' and 'off'.

It doesn't mean you are a 'poor' parent or that you've done anything wrong. 

Have you spoken to her school about it? They may be able to put some supports in place. 

[Tiner]

School has become a progressively worsening issue since year 5 and the school have been really good about working with us and doing what they can to help, I will fill them in with this new information and see where that goes 🙂