Lived Experience Forum

[BlueBay]

Hi @Wendie

I’ve got BPD am 52 and 3 adult children 26, 25 and 22. 

I’m struggling at the moment but wanted to say hi and welcome. 

BB xx

[outlander]

@Bluetoo you might be interested in this thread due to age and also bpd....

[Bluetoo]

Hi. I am 55 and feel I have BPD but my couples therapist who saw me recently alone does not feel I have it. She told me that when a person is raised by someone with it we can have some characteristics of BPD but not necessarily a diagnosis. 

All I know is that my emotions feel like they will be the end of me sometimes and I have little to no motivation anymore. I have good days lately but it doesn’t take much to knock me down again. I’m still trying to find a local therapist who can help me with whatever it is. 

I am always up to chatting. 

[PeppiPatty]

dear @Bluetoo @Wendie @Sans911 @BlueBay@outlander @greenpea @Faith-and-Hope everyone,,,,,,

several years ago....when I had a bit of a collapse..... a brand new GP was jumping up and down saying I had bpd nice and bad. After several appointments, my Psychotherapist who had seen me for years said No you don't but when you get too much under stress, you act like it because your Mum has it. 

but did I learn how much how debilitating it is. I felt like my head was exploding. 

[BlueBay]

Hi @PeppiPatty@Bluetoo when I was first diagnosed with BPD I was told I have 7 out of the 9 criteria. I was told ages ago that to be diagnosed you need to have more than 5. 

But saying that you can recover from BPD. With lots of work with your therapist and doing a DBT course that teaches you how to regulate your emotions and how to handle distress tolerance and other things you can live a better life. I will tag another member who is currently doing DBT and she can explain it a bit better than. @Zoe7 

im happy to chat with you both or anyone else at another time. 

Take care

❤️BB

[Zoe7]

@BlueBay @PeppiPatty @Bluetoo Happy to answer any questions you have about DBT - I am nearly finished the second module and I can definitely see the benefits of doing the course. I don't have BPD but DBT is also good for people like me with CPTSD, MDD and anxiety to help deal with the difficulties that presents for me at times.

[PeppiPatty]

No I don’t have dBt  but not that’s it’s anything but it is : @Zoe7

can you write more about what your doing ? 

[Zoe7]

Hi @PeppiPatty 

We are currently doing Emotion Regulation. We do 2 hours per week in a group of 8 with a facilitator who is a psychologist. Each week is broken into 2 one hour sessions - the first hour is discussing the skills we looked at the week before and how we have gone with the homework from that. The 2nd hour is looking at a new skill. Each module is 8 weeks long. The first modeul I did was Distress Tolerance - I didn't take too much in as I was very uncomfortable in the group - that has eased a lot with time and as I have got to know the people in the group more. The connections you make and being able to talk in the group is a major part of DBT - it is just as important as learning the skills themselves.

There are 4 modules overall (not sure what the next one will be but it will be either Core Mindfulness or Interpersonal Effectiveness) - it is recommended that we do each module twice - this is because it often takes a while for people to get the grasp of all the information presented in such a small space of time.

Each week we also have a diary card to fill in which shows how our emotions have been each day, allow us to write down anything that has happened on each of those days and we record things like the level of SI we have had, whether we have taken our meds as prescribed, SH etc. and a section to record if we have used any of the skills we have been taught. At the end of each module we look at our diary cards to see patterns and how we have been using our skills.

We each have a pdoc appointment after the DBT session to go through our diary cards and discuss any issues that the DBT sessions brought up for us.

I hope that is a bit more of an overview for you - it is quite intense and at times can be both draining and triggering. It is a very long day for me as there is a 2 hour break between DBT and my pdoc appointment - I usually come home for an hour!

[PeppiPatty]

Dearest @Zoe7

How interesting ..... I know several women with bpd who would NOT have to
courage to do this

[Zoe7]

Most of the participants have BPD - think I am the only one that doesn't @PeppiPatty

It certainly is hard work and for the first few weeks I didn't want to or think I could continue with it but I was encouraged to just keep going - whether I talked or not - and see if it got better - which it did after about 10 weeks. Now I quite like seeing some of the people there but I still say very little. I am getting a little more confident when I need to share homework tasks but keep a lot to myself. I have made a few connections with some lovely people and that helps a lot.