Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hello
I've been having increased difficulties with depression and anxiety in recent months, years really, but recent months have seen me retreat more and more from the noise and aggravation of places where people congregate. 

Having lurked here for the past few weeks, reading posts and seeing how supportive everyone is to each other, something I have not had much of in the outside world, I finally found enough courage to join and participate. It's a bit of a strange feeling joining a forum for support for myself as I'm usually the one providing that support to others. 

I'm finding just how hard it is to be a woman, over 60, with physical and mental health issues mostly caused by the actions of others in the long distant past, with no family or friends. I'm trying my hardest to live with the knowledge that this situation isn't going to go away, while searching for better management processes to handle the stress reactions that I just can't get on top of for long enough to build up any reserves. I'm constantly on overload. 

I see my GP, have seen psychologists, some helpful, some not, and use a variety of management tools to get through the day. 

I'm thinking this place might offer the type of support I need right now to help me get to a better place. Thank you for being here. 

[Kurra]

Hi @Former-Member
I'm glad you found the courage to join us here. I'm sure you'll find lots of friends amongst our members.

It can be difficult being over 60 for both women and men. I'm in my late 60s and I've found it beneficial to involve myself in comminity activities.

Getting out and mixing with people has lessened the isolation that can come in later years.

Welcome to the forum! 😃

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Kurra for your kind words.
My anxiety levels means that going out itself is currently reserved for things I can't get delivered, like medical visits; and the lack of trust in others means groups and mixing with people generally is more effort and stress than it's worth.
I'm working on building some reserves so the PTSD stuff doesn't overwhelm so constantly. Joining up here is one of the new actions I've decided to take to help myself.
It's almost impossible for me to ask for help, (for reasons) and when I do, I don't seem to be able to use the right words for people to realise I'm asking for help.
Again, thank you for responding.

[Ellu]

Dear Sunshower,

I am so glad you decided to try the forums. You will meet many like minded people here with whom you can discuss what is troubling you. I am a woman of 64 who has had bi-polar disorder  since I was 15.

Turning 60 is a challenge in itself.You are no longer young and energetic and you have to change aspects of your life  to allow for that. Having to deal with mental health issues makes it just that bit harder.

Have you talked to your psychologist specifically about things in your past which trouble you? Sometimes our past experiences exert an enormous influence on our present well being, and I know from personal experience that talking through past issues and problems can help make the load much lighter.

You say your situation won't go away but it can be changed. Exploring your past with a therapist will definitely help your current situation. I am glad that you have the courage to try different coping techniques. Don't give up, you will find a technique whichworks for you.

It must have taken a lot of courage to write to the forums, but they are full of people with similar problems and life stories, and the more we share them with each other the more we can feel good about each other. You are not alone!

Ellu

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member i am sorry the anxiety is so much its preventing you from going out and doing things you would like to meet others, i know its not easy when anxiety can be so overwhelming. I find that holding something in my hand when i am out and about to play with can sometimes help i quiet often just pick leaves off trees and use that or sometimes i take something with me that i can mold and squish kind of like playdoh. Be kind to yourslef you will find lovely caring people arond the forums here. Take care

[utopia]

@Former-Member. I understand about normally looking after other people and not yourself. I think that's a common theme here on the forum.
It's part of our recovery or self help - to learn to try and put ourselves first.
So well done on posting here. The first of many steps, I hope.
I also struggle with depression and anxiety. Some days okay. Some days horrid. But I keep plugging on, because I've been well in the past, and I want to reach that place again.
Welcome

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member - thank you.
I often take my crochet or tatting, or read a book to keep from getting overwhelmed when waiting etc. Often it's the actual the going out itself that's the hardest part in recent years though. Weird, cos I wasn't always like this.
I will also sort of 'swish' the bracelet on my arm (if I've remembered to wear one) to centre myself if things start getting a bit much, that helps.

Thanks again, hope your day is being good to you. 🙂 Look after you.

[Former-Member]

@utopia Thank you for your kind words and for the welcome.

From what I've read here, I agree with you, so many of us are trying to learn how to do self care more effectively.
I neglected it for too long, not understanding the impact it would have in later life.

It's very kind of everyone to reach out when I've seen how everyone has their own worries.

I do hope you reach that good place very soon!
Look after you! 🙂

[Former-Member]

@Ellu- firstly my apologies for not responding sooner! I must have scrolled too fast and missed your post until now. So sorry, I did not mean to ignore you and I realise it could seem like that. 

Thank you for sharing some of your experience, (I meant your experiences, but also recognise perhaps the sharing of them too) that must have been difficult, I appreciate you responding to my post. 

Turning 60 does seem to have been a challenge for the people I have had to deal with. It's not the ageing itself that is difficult for me, I'm pleased to have made it to this age through all that life has thrown at me. People seem to think I'm deaf, stupid, uneducated and incapable - what a difference that last 10 years made on how I'm being perceived by some of the recent care providers. 

Yes, thank you for the suggestion, I have talked over my experiences many times with a couple of psychiatrists long ago, and many psychologists have followed that. 

Their techniques get me through the day but I have not found how to deal with the cynicism and distrust that the traumas - and the subsequent dealings with everyone I've had to deal with about it all, have left me with.
If that sounds messy, it's 'cos it is. And I'm so tired of having to deal with inexperienced, self serving psychologists to get any useful help.

I am still searching though, hence me being here, pushing aside the worry that this won't go well either. There's still a little bit of determination in me that suggests there will be something that will help me to climb out of this despair.

I am looking for help with the change that I know has to be my own, I just don't know where else to look, sadly.

Thank you for taking the time to respond, I hope you are doing well. 

[Heavenbound]

Welcome to the forums @Former-Member where we can share how we feel and the daily struggle we have to just put one foot in front of the other. It is so nice to meet you and I know you will find the most amazing and caring people here. I like you have withdrawn from society in the most and only will go to Dr's or other specialists if I have to. I haven't been on for awhile as I have been really battling and only just came back on today. Wondering where I can find the strength to keep going. I don't go to the supermarket or shops and what is needed my hubby goes and gets it. 🙂 I have massive anxiety in busy places so I stay away. I hope you find some good tips from the wonderful people that are in the Forums. Remember that we are always here for you if you need to let out your feelings. I find it a good place for a rant lol. Everyone understands. Huge hugs and again welcome.