I will...

[Zoe7]

Hi @Former-Member Did her father turn up? How are you feeling tonight?

Zoe 

[Former-Member]

no he didnt come, he had training to go to apparently. made it easier. but im not so good tonight, am so confused and spinning not knowing a lot of stuff and details but lots of stuff going on as usual.
i hope you are sleeping though @Zoe7 xx

[Zoe7]

Hi @Former-MemberI am still awake if you want to chat 

[Former-Member]

hehe im manically avoiding my own thinking by roving the forums @Zoe7 - waiting for the inevitable back to my own reality crash to sink in but semi ok again at the moment.. you know. this thirty seconds im doing ok...
How are you going? Hows toby? @Zoe7

[Zoe7]

Toby is ok - he hasn't been sick again and looks back to his old self - so that is a huge relief  I'm still struggling quite a bit but doing pretty much the same as you - jumping on the forum for some company and distractions! I am really pleased for you that HE didn't turn up - must have made it easier to get through the day. Only 2 weeks to go to the school holidays for you though. I can imagine how tired you are already just with work let alone 'everything' else. Maybe we should plan some 'activities' for each day of the first week of the holidays to help keep you occupied - maybe a 'pretend' birthday party for a start lol

[Former-Member]

i try to ignore my bday as much as possible, its in the holidays... did you know that? i cant remember if ive told me birthday around abouts on here bfore... lol so no party - even though you are by far thebest party planner i've ever known!
im not sure how to get to the holidays yet, im not sure i can start planning for them. which conversely probably means i should, but at the moment i really cant.
Yes it was a relief that he didnt come to this but im sure he'll be around to something else soon.
I wish that things were easier for you too 😞 glad that the forums help you as well, distraction is about the best tool i have at the moment for coping.

[Zoe7]

Do you mean it's in the holidays coming uo @Former-Member?

[Former-Member]

yes sorry, got myself in a fluster when you mentioned a pretend party and then panicked and thought you knew that it really IS my birthday - even though it doesnt matter.. over tired anxious triggery brain! sorry. so yes it is in the holidays.

[Zoe7]

whoops @Former-Member no I really didn't know. No wonder you told want to think about it - I presume the kids will be away - that sucks 

We won't plan anything for you - unless you change your mind and then it will be MASSIVE lol

I don't do anything for my birthdays anymore - I never know what the 'vibe' is going to be like with the family soI avoid it as much as possible. Also - for the last few years - our worl dinner has been on or around my bday - as has the local Christmas Pageant which I have organised - so it all gets a bit too hectic and stressful - plus it is only 2 weeks before christmas so way too muncg going on.

[Former-Member]

i dont have family so noone to notice anyways which is good as i helps me to avoid!
having bdays around xmas, i've been told, is so not fun! and wow! organising the pagean would be a a loooot of work! well done! im going to have a go at resting at least. have gotten a bit more snuggled in my blankets and so far son has stayed asleep.. as soon as i try to close my eyes he'll wake of course but thats ok...
hope you get some sleep xx @Zoe7