@Former-Member - I used to feel and think so badly of myself particualry when I compared myself to those who 'seem' to have it all together. I stopped comparing myself to others, or being resentful that others seem not to have it as tough as i do, a long time ago because that is truly a hiding to nowhere.
That is one thought pattern i could change, with determination. Every one struggles in some way in their lives, just some of us have a much bigger load of it. I am slowly but surely accepting my 'lot in life' and the more I do, the less scared I feel, the less alone I fell, the less 'broken'. Yes I am damaged and scarred, but that isn;t ALL I am - I am also compassionate, caring, hopeful, helpful, I love animals and care deeply what happens to the world. If we can lift our eyes from all that is (or that we perceive is) wrong with us and look at all that is right with us, this can help shift our perception. Dog knows I have a very poor self-image, and a terribly mean self-critical voice, but I challenge that these days - when I am harping on at myself for the list of failures and uselelssness .... "Oh, so, I don;' beleive you critic-voice - that I am 'useless" it is just not true, I might not be good at some things but I AM good at X, Y and Z so p*ss off and leave me alone!"
Hope your days improve and the 'sunshines' for you for moments at a time. Some days we just have to hunker down and weather the storms and hold ourselves with love and understanding.
