Hi @utopia,
I am sorry to see that you don't feel that you are recovering... this must be disappointing. I agree with what other people are saying... try to talk it over with you psychologist when you can. He may have some ideas for you.
The things that you wrote about yourself are just facts.... please not to try and see them as negatives and try not to judge yourself harshly.
For instance- "I'm on workcover/centerlink" Well, yes, but that could be good thing, because in many countries there is no such thing as government support or insurance for workers. So, I know it sounds naff, but at least you have a little bit of money and you can afford groceries, right?
And also- "I'm fat/overweight" Ok, I know it isn't ideal, but it isn't the end of the world either. Many, many women struggle with weight issues (including me) and they don't let it define them.
I guess with depression, our brains put a negative twist on absolutely everything. When we are not depressed, we just get on with things.... and live happily enough within our financial means, enjoying ourselves without thinking too much about our body-image.
Utopia, if you had some energy and motivation, what do you see yourself doing? I know that you have interests. Can you just suspend disbelief for an instant and imagine yourself doing something you enjoy?
Breathing exercises are great, because they take hardly any energy and even doing them for just one minute is beneficial. One positive step seems to lead to other positive steps, too.
I do remember feeling emotionally 'frozen' for several years leading up to my big depression. I couldn't even put a label on what I was feeling back then. I think I thought it must be normal. I hope you start to feel better soon. xx
