Topic Tuesday // Is mental health more challenging for men? // 20 June, 7pm AEST

[Former-Member]

@Adge

I think that - people sometimes (even professionals) tend to have an outlook that certain MI's look certain ways. If someone doesn't fit into that outlook, then they are brushed aside to those who may be more open about their illness. So - those who find it difficult to open up but do REACH out ,, then have the difficulty of not receiving the help NEEDED.

It is so horrible.

[Former-Member]

It would be good to hear any flip-side experiences too where men or their carers have found ways to improve their mental health. 

What's worked? 

Maybe it's something you've done yourself or some help you've been given.  When he gets a chance @Glen-MensLineAu will be providing some tips but it's always great to hear from the trenches too. 

Any advice for men reading this? 

[redheaded]

@Former-Member ReachOut is a another place I've found good support. They were the ones who suggested this forum.

[Former-Member]

I have found in the past good social connection has helped Mr Darcy this is difficult at present as we live semi rural.

[Former-Member]

We've come back to the need for connection a few times in this discussion @Former-Member.  Given that your husband didn't connect with the Men's Shed option, how did he build those connections? 

[Shaz51]

It would be good to hear any flip-side experiences too where men or their carers have found ways to improve their mental health. 

@Former-Member, as a wife , i have found Love, Listening , encouraging , having a relaxed environment , being there , sometimes not saying anything

I bring up lots of suggestions and then I leave it with my husband if he wants to do them or not , don`t get me wrong , we still have ups and downs everyday but all these things have helped sooo much

[Former-Member]

Wonderful advice, thank you @Shaz51.

[Phoenix_Rising]

I think the men's shed is a really good concept. I can imagine that a lot of men would benefit from that sort of connection. I actually feel a little frustrated that this option isn't available for women - cos I think I would benefit from it.

[Adge]

@Former-Member1)Learning to do daily meditations (from a hypnotherapist).

2) Doing a mindfulness course.

3) Good rapport & trust with a professional (psychologist) - which I find is far more important & helps more than any particular technique that they use.

4) Being encouraged to make use of Crisis (support) phone line services (by my psychologist) - which I was very reluctant to do (initially).

[Dogman]

Hello everyone, I would say that mens mental health isn't harder then womans or childrens, their are different factors for all of us. there are a mereade of factors to concider for us all and a support help and self help process we all must go through in order to get our selves on a better.

I have had a major problem with Chronic Complex PTSD and Bi-Polar for 40 or more years, and as i get a handle on aspects of these illnesses things change and there is more challenges all the time.

1. I find it extremely hard to work out my or try and understand my Identity

2. including my family , once they knew about my mentall illness I was straight away treat different and they thought they had to tread lightly around me. ( I think would be similar for anyone out their, no matter what age or sex you are.

In my experience men seem to not want other men to know about and from personnal experience once my mate knew about it they were all gone with in a matter of 4-6 months and some of them I haven't seen in 20 years.

I suffer from severe anxiety and deppression as well and I can count on one hand the people in my life that I can talk to and not get treated like a lepper.

I have trouble understanding what people are saying or meaning by what they are saying and not understanding or know my own Identity makes everything extremely hard.

I can even only have light hearted conversations to my family and most of the time they seem to want go and things without me.

I do have a really good job and since I had my major breakdown in 2012, I haven't even been able to get back to work as yet in a good way. I have tried sticking a routine and I am about 50% of the way their.

I have never had a hobby I always worked hard and went to the gym and trained then went back to work.

now I have the time I am finding it to work out what I would like to do and finding the currage to get out of the house and be around people.

I am scared of the change but everytime I come out of mentall health ( Hospital ) I find I lose a lttl more of my old self, but I don't have any thing to replace it with , so I feel and can see that I am on a path that is moving me away from my family and I can't for the life me think how i can change it? If I ccould have an adult conversation with my family about it , it could make a difference. But they don't want too. I am more lonely when my family is home then when they are out or not here.

I just feel as though trying to learn to live a happy life and reconnect with my family is killing. I put on my best smile and try and help out each and every day and try and inter act with them but to no avale. 

What should I do or what am i missing. out of the handful of people I can talk to 1 is my Psychiatrist, 2 are my Psychologist and3 & 4 are the staff at the chemist. no. is my older sister but all we have in common is the terrible things that happened to us as kids and lately we might text each other once every six weeks and phone twice a year.

owe well,

Dogman