Caring for 18 year old son

[Kat48]

Hi all, I’m new to the group. My 18 year old son had 1st episode psychosis in April, spent a week as inpatient and now has severe depression complicated by his physical disability of Cerebral Palsy. He is a very bright boy who is a wheelchair users and has high physical needs. Any tips for coping with suicidal ideation and wanting to self harm would be appreciated. We are on 3rd lot of antidepressants plus antipsychotics. We are so sad for our son. Despite being a carer for his whole life, this is much harder than dealing with disability 🫤

[tyme]

Welcome to the forums @Kat48 ,

It sounds incredibly hard. I look after a 13 year old who has spastic quadriplegia cerebral palsy and this really affects his mental health. Hence I can relate to having a child with high needs.

Does he talk to anyone about what's happening for him?

[Kat48]

@tyme he have started and stopped counselling and just started again but he is not really engaging and won’t do any strategies. He wants to be in bed all the time. We both work fulltime but he is very well supported with his support workers. He has always been stubborn to the point of refusal but he is very bright. It’s hard to keep positive for him and the rest of the family day after day. Only positive is he is starting to show a bit more emotion and not as catatonic 

[tyme]

It may take a while to get the meds right. It sounds like this is what you are seeing. Once it settles, hopefully you will see you boy again. Does he go out with his support workers? Anything age appropriate? @Kat48 

[Kat48]

@tymethe support workers will and do take him wherever he wants to go, they have full access to our wheel chair modified van, it’s just getting him out. Sometimes it’s just a drive, sometimes it’s 10mins and he wants to come home. We were working on him getting employment before psychosis because he finished grade 12 and had no purpose, everything took so long to organise and now the services are available he is not able to do anything. He is a triplet so his brother is now at Uni and sister is working and that affects him because he is stuck 

[tyme]

Wow @Kat48 . The one I look after is a twin, and hence the CP. Once again, his twin brother has no issues and this further isolates him. I wonder how many other parents are in the same boat?

Psychosis is challenging. And depression and really throw a spanner in the works. Does he get along with his siblings?

[Kat48]

@tyme his brother has mild CP and is very intellectual- smashing Uni, doing a double Arts degree. The brain is so vulnerable to begin with having CP so it’s a high rate for those with CP to have mental health issues- you just think that your kids won’t be a statistic. We are a bit to used to diagnosis in our house, sister just been diagnosed with ADHD and I think his brother would have traits of high functioning autism if that was still a label- but decided not to have formal diagnosis. Aah life can be pretty hard- I thought the hard bit was raising triplets but take me back to nappies, cuddles and afternoon naps ☺️

[Ljr2005]

Hi @Kat48 

i just wanted to check in and offer my support.

I have no experience with caring with someone with CP.

However I do with psychosis.  My son who is now 17 has been hospitalised twice in the last two years. 

I never knew anything about psychosis before.

What I know now is the huge impact it has on the brain and recovery takes a long time.

It takes patience and you just need to be there for him. The meds work but they have side effects.  
my son as also had depression and a suicide attempt.

It’s a lot.  
I just want you to know you are not alone. 

[tyme]

Hi @Ljr2005 , sorry to hear about your son. Thank you for sharing. It must be so challenging and worrying to see your child in hospital. How are you going at the moment?

@Kat48 , how are you today?

[Kat48]

Thanks so much @Ljr2005, it helps to know we are not alone. I am struggling as our son does not want to help himself and won't try any strategies etc. Its depressing looking after someone who is depressed. It's a relief when he is in bed at night.