How was your weekend? (Very Long Read)

[Mariannep]

I read your post. I have a son with mental illness. I could feel your utter exhaustion. I just wanted to hug you. Maybe just maybe when someone asks if you how was your weekend tell them it was god dam awful.  You don't have to tell them anything more. But it can give people an opportunity to know how your travelling and they have an opportunity for kindness and thats good for everyone i know when it was bad

[WinstonOBoogie]

Hello @SJT63  🙂

I hope you are ok today..Friday.

You have a gift for writing. Your post really resonated and connected with me on so many levels.

I am currently looking after my partner that has MI. This is new territory for me and I feel a mess...m6 emotions all over the place..and like I have lost the partner I used to have.

Thank you for Your words....they made me realise we aren't in this alone.

Cheers 

[SJT63]

@WinstonOBoogie @Shaz51 @HoneyOne @UprightRabbit 

I am back from my 2 nights away. Two nights where I paid for accommodation so I could have some respite while he was home, in my house. Does that sound bitter? It is a bit. He only rang me to voice his annoyance twice, but we've had 3 goes since I got back this afternoon. I'd been asleep for an hour before the last one. It wasn't directed at me but still very distressing to be woken from a deep sleep in that way. I asked if we could please address the issue in the morning instead and now I'm the worst person in the world again.

Enough!

I think I will just not come home from work tomorrow. I have a key to his place 50km from here where he has no internet or hot water but it is a roof and a bed that won't cost me more money.

I just don't know what to do or think anymore.

[WinstonOBoogie]

@SJT63 

You have every right to be bitter ! 

Sounds like a plan for your own mental health to not go home after work. ..although no internet or hot water may prove character building.

Sounds like you are at a point where you need to look after your own needs right now ....and makes total sense. I really do hope you do a few nice things for yourself !

I am very new to this and feeling confused as well. My partner has said she needs space...doesn't want to see me....so have been staying at a kind friend's house for a few days. It is 3:30am and I just woke up and thought what am I DOING here ?!

Am trying to stay strong.....be her rock..but boy it is NOT easy !

Have you joined any physical support groups to meet others in a similar situation?

I live in Brissy and am going to try find a group of carers that I can join and actually meet and chat with. At least you and I are not alone in this.

Am glad I discovered your post. Your writing is very therapeutic to read..as I hope it is for you to write.

Am sending you virtual hugs and happy supportive vibes 💐⚘🙏🌻

[SJT63]

@WinstonOBoogie  @Shaz51 

I am now staying at an airbnb near my work, feeling guilty and selfish and just trying to numb myself with Lindt and Netflix... oh, and trying to get some actual work done... failing on all fronts.

I can only find face to face support groups that meet during business hours so I can't go.

My last lot of very eloquent "take you there" posts were withdrawn for being too discriptive so I'm trying to be more circumspect. The really good writing is once again confined to my private journals.

take care all xx

[Shaz51]

hello @SJT63  thank you for the tag my friend 

thinking of you lots 

Hello @WinstonOBoogie , @Mariannep , @NatureLover 

[WinstonOBoogie]

@SJT63 

I too have had to move out as my partner's MI has made her rage and she needs space...wants me gone etc.

Am also trying to entertain myself with Netflix, reading. It works for a short time but then I wonder about how she is...how did I end up here etc.

I am also needing to find a group of carers with which to share the journey with however all during business hours 😞

If I find any evening meetings will let you know..and hope you do same.

Hang in there  !

Ps: a great Netflix series to get your mind off  things is 'Workin' Moms. You can thank me later 😉

[SJT63]

@WinstonOBoogie  had a look at the trailer, defs not my thing, although my later husband used to watch a Canadian sitcom called Corner Gas and it wasn't too bad. If noone gets murdered I'm not really interested.

Even though the last thing he told me on Monday morning was not to come home, I also know that he didn't reallly mean it. I guess in a way I'm trying to tell him to be careful what he wishes for. I miss home, I miss him and I am very worried about him.

I have let him know that I am safe but I am not coming home until the end of the week and in the meantime hopefully I can regroup to face it all again - but perhaps tackle it in a different way.

[WinstonOBoogie]

@SJT63 

Hope you are doing ok ??

I am still not home...partner doesn't want to see me but am safe and warm with nice people around.

Hope you are able to get your mind off things.

Ok...on Netflix there is a series called Dead To Me. I reckon THIS is one you will like. Hard to stop watching.

Sending you hugs and good vibes ⚘

[Jzkm]

@SJT63 I enjoyed your little novel! You write very beautifully. Thanks for sharing. I hope you did get to enjoy a weekend off the madness.

My partner had his psychosis (first episode) last july. And now he is either a zombie without sex drive, emotions, and  just totally absent running red lights, giving our 9 mo. Old baby newly heated pasta burning his poor tiny tongue.... or he is so irritatingly elated. And when those moods shift, he is always irritated with me and EVERYTHING is my fault. 

Maybe, just maybe, things will be better for us in the future. 
in the meantime, im here if you need to chat.