Lived Experience Forum

[JSP1]

Well... Did a quick search. That's me.

I always knew my feelings for her weren't quite healthy. Apparently, they were diagnosably bad.

I've been told to look into CBT, DBT, ACT, Schema Therapy, Attachment (mine is Anxious Avoidant), and now within that is Limerance.

I don't know where to start and all of these things require either a lot of money or a lot of time.

This is also why I don't try.

I can't escape the fear that my issues are going to result in me hurting the people I have feelings for.

[MayaBird07]

It's great that you've been doing work on yourself. I can definitely relate to feelings of not being enough.

I have been doing Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and last week we talked about the importance of validation. I know I am guilty of searching for validation from others that I am ok or doing the right thing. It sounds like you've been getting a lot of positive validation from friends and family. Being a perfectionist, I find it hard to validate my own feelings because, to me, I could always be better. 

[Jasper_123]

hey @JSP1 

Honestly, you may never feel like you're enough. For it fluctuates quite a lot (BPD) I've found having a moral code that I follow helps me to feel enough. By this I mean asking myself "what would a kind person do?" or some other guiding questions. Another thing you can do is thinking of your friend/s and asking yourself "are they enough?" "how are they different to me" because if your friends are enough - whatever that means to you than it's more than likely that you are too.