Lived Experience Forum

[StanD]

NEW HOME 🏠

Hello everyone,

@TAB @tyme @SmilingGecko @hanami @Meowmy @StuF @MDT @Appleblossom @greenpea @Kyle1 @Shaz51 

And Everybody

I have been in my new home since Friday. I want this to be a happy post. And it is.

My Home is gorgeous. It's basically a 2 BDRM palace set in oasis. The neighbours are helpful & friendly. My front windows look out to a large green lawn that connects the U shaped block of units. I see people walking their dogs all the time!

No swearing, fighting, 'junkies' (sorry that is a terrible label that I dislike) - tho where I had been living, I don't know how else to describe to give property picture. There was lots of crime in previous neighbourhood, not uncommon to hear yelling & near the station - yeh, well ...

There are also BEAUTIFUL parts in my previous suburb. The beach. Finding lovely, loving, kind people despite the bad parts.

I digress. This new home - is really a home for me. I get to choose EVERY THING!! My cats & I can walk freely through the rooms. My cats are still with frightened being in new place. I'm making it my promise, that I won't leave them too long, until they are adjusted.

My previous address was on main busy road. 

Here - I'm tucked away from suburbia. It really does have a 'camping' vibe to it. No cars. All I hear is birds, planes going overhead, occasional car, or neighbour coming home with his young daughter & my clocks ticking.

Magpies are dominant bird here.

I can tell that even the birds have more relaxed, chilled vibe than previous address! Weird huh.

I'm heart broken 😭💔

I cry lots.

I don't know this suburb.

Everything is far away.

I don't know how to get to post office to redirect my mail.

I have soooo much unpacking to do.

If I need to drive anywhere, I need to go on freeway. I'm not used to driving on freeway. It's difficult. It's not a 5 min trip & everything at my fingertips like I'm used to.

I need to do so many things. 

I can't.

I can only physically manage a few hours in shops.

The hot water pressure is a trickle. I have long hair. I don't have any shampoo. I don't know where the shop is to buy shampoo. I'm scared to leave the house. I will need to use GPS to go anywhere. This is very stressful for me. And then finding new shops. Yes, I can buy online. Idk. It all feels so difficult.

My previous suburb, where I know all the shops & parking is 17 mins on fwy. Of course I can do it. 

I'm not used to the idea of it being such big ordeal. I have to plan. What I can manage - before I get overwhelmed /sensory overload & then drive back safely. It feels like too much.

I need my medications. Idk where the chemist is here. Unlikely, they will stock my meds anyway.

I don't have a mirror!! (I know/hope the ladies will understand this)

I said this to my male friend last night. His reply was, 'just be like a man'. I assume he is referencing that men don't need to check themselves in the mirror before leaving house.

I got angry this morning thinking of that comment. I should of replied, 'oh, so you shave without a mirror do you?'

So yeh. That's me. I'm happy & not my usual happy self. It's very hard to describe.

I used to have days where I felt beautiful.

I know it's only been 5 days. I can't explain. I feel ugly, now.

I moved in sexy.

My sexy is totally gone.

-I feel depressed.

-At home.

-Pissed off.

-Like the biggest weight in the world has finally been cleared 

- emerging 

- I have autonomy 

- I am my own person now 

- I am alone 

- I have regressed 

- I am scared 

- I am blessed 

Thankyou for reading. In 2 weeks, I'm thinking I will be a completely different StanD. This is all moving house emotions?!? Idk?

And, PS - I have telehealth with my new psychologist today, & I will be able to get the help, mentally with my heartbreak.

I don't want any forum people's to worry. Really, I wanted to 'make a diary entry ' & I like how this diary talks back!!💗💗💗

I think I wanted to say more - I forget.

I'm wishing you all the best.

Idk, - at times I wonder 'Who are my friends?'

You guys have been with me forever. 

I do wish I knew you all better. Am I making it up in my head that you are solid people? That we genuinely care about each other? That we are our own hero, together?

Like all these accomplishments - we all did them together, from like this secret little space of the universe.

Am I projecting?

The things I've read on these forums. 

I'm sure they have made ME a better human.

And I'm not talking about the people I had the brain capacity to 'tag' - to anyone who reads this, or has communicate with others on here. 

I'm not going crazy am I? 

There IS love.

It's difficult because I don't know how much is true & how much I am filling in the blanks.

Like in the actual roool world - would any of us like each other?

I feel like this is my home. SANE.

These are my people who were there from the start. New ones popping in, old ones leaving - others rocks, not going anywhere. If that is not a friend, then what is?

@Historylover @NatureLover & anyone else, if you know we have chatted (or totally new friends) you already know I wanted to tag you!!💗

I have nfi if any of this makes sense ie autocorrect, thought process. I'm going to wing it & press post.

Maybe this kite land gently on the sand, nestled upon rock, of a deserted beach, for one day a child walks past & picks it up with glee. Luminous

[TAB]

ohh poor babies .. cats will be in wardrobes and moving boxes @StanD lol

 yes, cannot put a price on peace and quiet re traffic noise, anti-social behaviour (there's a euphemism for j word lol) etc

amazing re unit. Trees can be the best esp for cooling in summer and hearing wind thru leaves (wind chimes ?)

um if freeways there anything like in Perth, can by pass them using ..bypasses , well flyovers, whatever  there are always many other roads  in perth anyway.

one thing at a time maybe ? why do you have to go to post office ? ok re-direction maybe , can do online ??

can get food delivery ? can get ubers if can afford to drive a car, can afford uber .. public transport ??.. kmart has plenty of mirrors  or Roy and HG do as well, in their 'Room full of Mirrors' .. ok that may be less literal and more to do with self-reflection .. lol 

Are you officially a Cat now ?? ..re landing on your ..feet .. Mr Tabs not that long ago was in caravan park w anti-socials, broke, not working, crap weather , hating life ...

well now am doing it within My Own Four Walls thanks to Fates .. ok Inheritance

[StanD]

Thanks roomie @TAB 

Sorry I haven't been round much.

Hope you going ok. I reckon you know all the things I'm saying, & probs went thru exact same when you moved house.

It's like you lose part of yourself - even tho it's entirely positive change.

I feel insecure.

Anyway 

https://youtu.be/gOMhN-hfMtY?si=er5yaWcQrF8naUau

@greenpea 

[StanD]

Smile @TAB 

I was saying thanks for supporting post.

Now I have read your reply, I want to give 10, or 9 maybe supports.

Yes practical advice. Believe me, I'm relying on it.

Yes Kmart is my place to go.

Please tell me how I was out of Kmart with full length mirror without 100 ppl staring at me. All in my head, I know. 

Enough from me.

Thankyou thankyou thankyou

[StanD]

Yes I ama cat now!!! Loooove Thankyou @TAB 

[TAB]

just unpack as need . @StanD  ive beenhere 6 mths got averse to trailers and buying furniture  so clothes still on floor etc, really dont care lol

done some many other things

just make sure you have cat food and well milk and cereal for days you dont want to go out ..you will get there. I thought there were ghosts here when first moved in lol.

have good fridge, tv ,wmach, good shower , bed  kitchen table i live at now instead of sitting on esky with laptop on boxes first few months lol

keep busy maybe . go for a walk, outside will become more familiar, then maybe go home and want to unpack something after fresh air re-set ..

[StuF]

Hey @StanD 

You've got a Lot going on!

Congrats on the new place. I'm sure you'll settle in. Not a race to do everything at once 🙂

[greenpea]

@StanD   https://youtu.be/U1th94xR694?si=hkMvyr8eoXDqIpFn

[greenpea]

@StanD  i love this acoustic version of this song. i hope it soothes your nerves. love peax

[TAB]

@StanD  didnt get notifications for your replies yet lol all good.