Lived Experience Forum

[XLunaMoonX]

• I feel like I'm deadset going insane me and my ex broke up like a month ago and it seriously feels like trying to go cold Turkey on an addiction. I had a mental break and it scared him and he threw me out clearly because he didn't feel safe but I've been homeless since and so much bad stuff has happened ontop of the trying to cope. I just can't leave this man alone. For 2 weeks we called and texted everyday which made things feel normal but after a booty call at his house I broke down again the next day just wanting to go home to him and now he's pretty much ghosting me unless I need belongings from his house or I start a fight just to try and get some attention from him even tho it's bad. Like tonight I'm sleeping in my car so I parked near his house as it feels safe but I got so mad that he wasn't replying to me even tho he was so close to me that I went off in hopes he'd atleast come out and yell at me just so I could see him but instead he comes out and hands me a giant stuffed animal I told him 6 months ago about that I've wanted for Years and goes "here I was going to wrap it for u but you've pissed me off merry Christmas" N walked away shaking his head he sounded so disappointed and I have no idea what to do I don't like being like this I want to be friends but I keep digging myself a bigger hole by causing fights with him. I love him so much and would mountains for this man but I don't know what to do anymore. It seems like he cares as when my mental health gets bad hell check on me and he's brought me this gift which I know would of been a purchase within the past few days but then other days hell just leave me on read. Being without him is hellll but trying to speak to him Is the same. I just need to find the right words to communicate that hey. I want to be friends can u please tell me exactly what u need for that to happen even if it's no contact for a week or so just so I know if it's even possible but I can't find a way to get that to him without being ignored or blowing up on him. It's so draining I just want my old life back. 

[Snowie]

Hi @XLunaMoonX Welcome to the Sane forums.

It sounds like you are going through so much at the moment. I'm sorry to hear that things are like this. I'm going to tag a @moderator as they might be able to give you more advice then I can give you. Just know that we are hearing you.

Have you got any other family/friends around that can support you and give you some place to stay? Have you got any professional supports?

[XLunaMoonX]

I'm finding temporary accommodation today but no unfortunately no supports

[Snowie]

@XLunaMoonX it's good that you can get some accommodation, especially around this time of the year.

Is there a chance you could go to your local gp and ask about psychologist sessions. I know you can get a certain amount under medicare. It might help a bit, putting yourself first.

[amber22]

Hey there @XLunaMoonX 

Thanks so much for being so open and explaining your situation. It does sound very challenging and I am really sorry that you are experiencing this at the moment. I just wanted to pop in and let you know that you are not alone in how you are feeling, and that although breakups are such a hard thing to go through, you can 100% get through this and strengthen the relationship that you have with yourself ❤️ You really never know what the future holds! 

In terms of your supports, I see that you mentioned that your supports are quite limited. Do you mean your formal support system (such as psychologists or mental health professionals) or informal support system (meaning friends, family, coworkers etc).? There are also some mental health support lines that I will link here just in case you might want to give them a call (some of them are crisis support lines if you feel the need to speak to someone about that, but there are also some others that might be good just to have a chat or explore some options for living etc.) 

I'm here for a chat if you needed or just to sit with while you are going through this tough time. I know it's not easy, but you're not alone and we can have a further chat about everything whenever you need 💘

Thank you for the tag! @Snowie