Lived Experience Forum

[Queenb72]

Hi to all I’m new here. I had a bad week last week. Im from UK moved here. In UK diagnosed with BP2 and BPD. I was given medication. Anyway due to my behaviour my wife cheated and left me. Since then I’ve felt pretty up and down. I work but I’m holding on by a thread as I have weeks where I black out and sleep all day. I’m normally a lurker on forums but I’m trying to change that. Ive got lots of issues and I can range in feeling self hatred to being angry and having outbursts. I’ve got no friends or family. So anyway hello. 

[NatureLover]

Welcome, @Queenb72 , I'm sorry that your wife cheated on you and that you have 2 tough diagnoses. 

I'm wondering if you have any professional support? Like a counsellor, meds, psychologist or psychiatrist?

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I hope you find the forums supportive...

[fluffylight]

Hi @Queenb72
Welcome to the forums 😊

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and worries here, they're so welcome here 💛
I’m so sorry to hear about everything that’s been happening for you.

I want to hold space for your feelings and let you know that you're not alone in this.

It sounds like a lot is going on for you. How are you taking care of yourself?

I just wanted to share a couple of resources with you incase it resonated with you:

• SANE guided service: SANE drop-in services are staffed by qualified team of counsellors and people with lived experience of mental health issues who will provide you with free digital and telehealth support, information and referrals.’ --- Click here for more info if you would like to have a look -- https://www.sane.org/referral
• Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script 
• Spectrum is a Victorian based BPD organisation -- https://www.spectrumbpd.com.au/

Sending you someone else's story that they have shared to remind you that you can get through this  💛

I have so many hugs I am wanting to send your way 🙂 

fluffylight x

[Queenb72]

Thank you for responses. I’m trying to get it together. I’ve been to GP here as I’ve moved but originally GP made a mistake and gave me a referral for sharps clinic which no offence I’m not a sharps user. I did follow up with GP clinic as it took a lot mentally and emotionally to deal with it initially, and I was told GP was a new GP. It seems so stressful to pursue the right avenue when you’re tired already. Then I moved property and was told that the system was burdened and there was a four month wait. Don’t want to be a moaner but I find it hard to find a bra to wear some days or get out of bed! I know the system is stretched. 

Anyway I’ve tried to get mental help and I did get minimal help ( sorry wrong wording) when I had a crisis and I called Lifeline who then sent Ambulance and Police. I was then referred to a Psychiatrist and Psychologist but I understand due to their limitations that it was limited and my case was closed. 

oh god I feel like a failure and an idiot. When will do called “regular people” understand how hard it is for the rest of us? I try and work and work for society but it’s like wading through glue. 

[Jynx]

Hey @Queenb72 - I just want to say, I think you're neither a failure nor an idiot - not by a long shot. I can see how much you're trying, and I know how incredibly isolating it is to have to, as you say, wade through the glue of it all without getting understanding or compassion from folks who just don't get it. 

You are showing a lot of resilience, strength, and tenacity just by being here, and I think it's worthy of recognition. 

[Queenb72]

Thank you for your response. I do appreciate it. 

[Queenb72]

@Jynx thank you for your support 

[Queenb72]

@fluffylight Thank you for your good advice, just sometimes it’s overwhelming and I wish I was like regular people who have family and friends you know? 

[Queenb72]

Thanks @NatureLover @for your response. Currently don’t have professional support as I found it frankly to be poor. I stopped taking meds and started using alcohol instead I know not good idea. 

im tired. 

anyway can I ask why all the responses have been from supports? Bit weird to me. But hey I’m paranoid 

[tyme]

Hey @Queenb72 ,

I hear how tired you are. I was also diagnosed with Bipolar and BPD. Despite the fact that I was later told I didn't have bipolar, it was through psychotherapy that I got the support I needed for my BPD. But as you said, it wasn't easy to find. 

Therapy took years - literally. I can only imagine how tiring it must be for you right now. 

Please know I'm here if you need a chat. I can talk all things BPD-related. I'm been down that path of using unhelpful coping mechanisms, having no friends (I still have no friends) and no family support. Oh, and professionals who pretty much looked at me at implied "get outta here".... it was a lonely path.

I hope you find some solice posting on the forums and connecting with people.

But yes, I've been down that similar path of asking how the 'regular' do something that is so hard for a borderline.