Lived Experience Forum

[Anneka45]

I think I’m broken, often feel like how much can a human take ?, 

I get sick of people saying “cheer up”

”there is people out there worse then you”

”snap out of it”

and my personal favourite “ I know how you feel”

im 45 now and would say the last 18 months all trauma, PTSD, anxiety etc has come and thrown itself at me like a brick to the face.

i don’t care anymore, my get up and go has got up and gone, the once funny social me has vanished.

I struggle just getting the motivation to get out of bed to go to work each day, did work full time and now I work 5 hours a day as can’t cope with anymore then that.

i feel weak and pathetic and exhausted all the time.

why do so many of us have such trauma in our lives and others have lives that smell like roses.

sorry for the pity post but nobody I know really gets it.

they don’t understand that bad day feeling 24 hours a day not just a rubbish day from work or kids doing their head in etc

 I’m ok medication but lost as to what to do next. 
Thanks for reading  

[Jynx]

Hi @Anneka45 welcome to the forums, I'm glad you found us. I'm so sorry that you keep getting told those kinds of things, I'm sure many here can relate to how awful it feels. The misunderstandings and stigma surrounding mental health run deep, and can feel incredibly frustrating and isolating. I am glad that you did something good for yourself and reduced your work hours. That's not pathetic, that is self-care. 

Do you have much in the way of support? Either from friends/family or from mental health professionals? 

You can always give the lovely folks at the SANE helpline a buzz if you ever need to talk it through with someone. They're available Mon-Fri 10am-8pm, on 1800 187 263 😊

Hope you find this to be a warm and welcoming community 💜

[Anneka45]

I genuinely think people don’t know how to support you, I have great friends and family but they just don’t get it.

i was an inpatient at an out of hospital mental health facility for 2 weeks, and felt nice being around people that actually do understand 

my own head scares me with things that pop into there 

[hanami]

Hi @Anneka45 

Just wanted to pop in and say hi. I'm so sorry that you haven't had anyone in your life who understands. That can be so hard. My husband is okay at understanding but not great. I've taught him stuff over the years though so he's getting better. Yep, the stuff that pops into my head is super scary - I hear you. 

I hope you stay around here. It's really nice to have new members come on board to the forums. 

Warmest wishes

Hanami

[Blackbird11]

Hi @Anneka45 

Glad you are here. Nothing worse than the dismissive conversations. We have a factsheet Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (sane.org) that has useful information and I have heard about this book being great too You’re Not Broken – The Book - Sarah Woodhouse 

One thing that has helped me is "do one thing today your tomorrow self will thank you for"

We're here for you Get support (sane.org)

You are important and so very loved.

[Bow]

Hi @Anneka45 

A lot of what your have shared really resonates with me. I’m sorry that you feel this way and are experiencing what you are. 

I too have done some inpatient stays, one at a private facility and like you, felt that everyone understood. It really felt safe there. I’ve also done a lot of public mental health unit stays and they are often just plain scary, but unfortunately sometimes needed.  I have some friends that I can talk to, they try to understand but they just don’t. They don’t get the constant struggle. They don’t get when every minute of every day is a battle. That often there really is no motivation. That’s why I love the forums. People understand here, they get it. 

I’ve also unfortunately had many experiences of very unhelpful comments like the ones you mentioned. My favourite was a comment made by a mental health nurse, he told me to ‘smile and go throw a ball’. 

Life is not fair at times. I often struggle with similar thoughts around how some people get it so easy in life and why does all the bad stuff keep happening to me. Let’s me honest, its shit. And it sucks. But I can’t change any of it and I must just some how continue living and some days that’s really hard. 

I hope you find some connection here. And that you find comfort in knowing that there will be a lot of others on here that do understand. 

[JRMum]

Hi Anneke,

Life is hard, we all know it.  At times it is super hard and we can only get through it, minute by minute.  Try and look for the 'glimmers' - those moments where you can breathe and see that maybe things aren't so bad.  They do happen.

I had my fair share of time in Psych facilities, public and private.  There is a nice sense of understanding there, they are safe places that offer insight and reflection. 

The challenge comes in day to day life, I know.  For me, finding some self-compassion always helps.  That it's ok to not be ok.  We need to accept that we have limitations, and to just try our best. 

Be proud of the fact that you work 5 hours a day!

[Anneka45]

thank you for taking the time to respond to me it’s appreciated, it’s also nice to hear that someone understands what I mean as half the time it doesn’t make sense in my own head so can only imagine how it comes across to others. 
your absolutely right how you feel safe in a MHU which is strange I guess as we all feel vulnerable and anxious on there etc. 

some of the thoughts that come into my head scare me, I have contacted the mental health team today as work was a bad day today.

my boss is horrible and makes me feel useless and pathetic 

mom considering taking formal action as have discussed things with her months ago and nothing has changed 

I’m scared I’m going to punch her in the face one day, I have kept my cool and no stuck up for myself on the whole 10 months that she has been doing this. 
don’t know how much more of her I can take 

[Anneka45]

Thank you for your message, 

yeah I guess I need to take one day at a time and just try to get through each day best I can 

[Anneka45]

Thank you, 

I will have a look into those suggestions 😊