Lived Experience Forum

[Sleepy_Spinster]

Hi everyone, I have just joined so thought I would share my story…

I grew up with undiagnosed inattentive ADHD in what I believed to be a fairly sheltered and stable environment. It wasn’t until my senior years of high school that it started to become more evident that things were not ok. I started getting very depressed and self harming. But eventually confessed to my mum that I was not ok and she took me to the drs, it wasn’t until the second time around that I admitted they both diagnosed me with major depression. I was medicated and they recommended psychology or counselling but I could never find the right one. Later I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety. I got  married to a man after 3 years. My family had some concerns but said they would support me and it wasn’t until 2 years later that I realised I was being gaslit and verbally and emotionally abused by him. My parents helped me get out and I lived with them as I started to recover. Changed my antidepressants a few times and moved out again as I grew more confident. I was still struggling to keep a job longer that 6-12months but thought it was just the trauma that I had to work through. Started scrolling on TikTok and the FYP algorithm kept giving me people talking about their ADHD symptoms which I was relating to waaaaay too much. I also saw a lot of people talking about how hard it is to get diagnosed as a female so I decided I didn’t have time or emotional capacity to get a diagnosis the traditional way and forked out to have official testing and possible diagnosis by an ADHD specialist clinic. I was expecting to hear I was overreacting but after 2 Psychology sessions, childhood paperwork, feedback from my parents and multiple cognitive tests they said I definitely had ADHD. I took these results to my  psychiatrist who did his own test then apologised that he didn’t pick it up sooner. So at age 34 I was officially diagnosed with inattentive ADHD. I am still trialling different medications and have been meaning to start counselling/ADHD coaching/psychology but with the rise of cost of living, I’m struggling to afford a roof over my head. I have found that although the past decade and a half has been rocky, I have come out of it a lot wiser and resilient. One of the best decisions I made (apart from getting diagnosed and leaving my ex) was to adopt my dogs. They have helped me stay in a routine and help me connect. I am still struggling with managing my ADHD, get triggered by a few things and feel like I am spinning out of control near the end of my cycle but feel like I am getting better. I am so grateful to my support system and the opportunity to educate myself and grow my self awareness. I am studying counselling and hoping to get start studying Psychology next year. My aim is to have sorted out my management system for my mental health and become a Counsellor then Psychologist in the future. 
Thanks for hearing my story and I am looking forward to reading yours and connecting with people who have had similar experiences and/or have similar outlook now.

[Historylover]

That was an interesting read, @Sleepy_Spinster. It sounds like you've taken rather a roundabout route to understand yourself and what is going on in your life. I am pleased to read that you are working through your problems and persevering with your studies at the same time. Studies take our mind off our problems, and there is no downside to furthering our education. It is all win-win, no matter what we do with it. 

I really don't know what else to say, @Sleepy_Spinster, but I noticed that your post had not been replied to and I know how important it is to feel that we have not been ignored. We can take it personally even though there may be many reasons for it.

My words may not be helpful, but I just wanted to say Hello, and I hope that things continue to improve for you.

[wellwellwellnez]

I like how post uses goals as the result of the formula. That kind of paradigm discipline is the sign of a professional.

[tyme]

Hi there @Sleepy_Spinster ,

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry to read of what has happened to you in the past.

One thing for sure, as much as people may see ADHD as a deficit, I like to view it as a world of opportunities. The people I have interacted with who have ADHD have often been able to come up with solutions which are way outside the box but totally innovative and feasible!

Thank you for trusting the forums community with your story. Please know you are not alone in your journey.

I hope you find the connection and belonging you deserve. 

Each person here has their own story of loss, triumph, victory, and strength. It takes an honest person to truly share their vulnerabilities.

Thank you for your honesty.

I look forward to seeing you around. Please tag me into your posts so I receive a notification. you can do this my typing "@" in front of my username. That is, @tyme