Lived Experience Forum

[Cossack]

A few years ago, after losing my job and accommodation, my son and I ended up living on the streets. We were lucky enough that I still had my car so we spent just over 2 and a half years living in it with our dog. It was not good. My son tried suicide several times and many others that we streeted with spoke of suicide as well. I did get sick of attending funerals in one state, especially for those around my sons age. At one stage, suicide was like a dose of flu traveling between anyone who wanted to be infected.

Regularly we were beaten, kicked, robbed, cold, bored and moved around by authorities and generally thought of by the public as a bunch of no good bums. I found the whole experience completely devastating. Now, off the street for just on 2 years, we are both still having problems of adjusting back into the community. Severe depression and anxiety are a daily issue and many times when I relate the story of being homeless, the emotional drain is enormous. I am preparing a paper for presentation to an audience in Mental Health and the lived experience of post homeless depression will be a major part of the article.

I would be keen to have anyone else discuss some of their issues if they have gone through post homeless problems as I am sure I am not alone. Post Homeless experience does not seem to depend on how long you were on the streets but does seem dependant on your experiences and lack of sleep. Some may have only been there for 6 weeks and treated the issue as a camping adventure. They have still suffered but not to the extent of the long term rough sleepers who perhaps had trouble showering, feeding and receiving daily support. Any comments welcome. Thank you.

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Cossack

I have experienced homelessness when I was 6 and 16 years old.

Due to that I have a long association with and empathy with homelessness.

I recently spent time with the rough sleepers in Martin Place Sydney and have been dissappointed in the Victorian Police commissioners public statements about the Melbourne CBD rough sleepers.

I too know the repeated conversations about suicide and attendance at the funerals of suicdes.

I have also experienced a weird sense of homelessness even though my name is on my mortgage and I have fair security about a roof over my head.  But it seems the early experiences had a profound effect on me not being able to claim my right to a HOME .. even though it was legally mine.  

I also have profound sensitivities to being rejected and excluded.

keep posting.  We both know that it is about more than our own issues even if we can totally identify with the problems .. the problems are too rife .. to be just about ourselves.

I hold back from replying and wait and hope that others will reply, but I thought your post had waited long enough.

Today I was told I was eligible for NEAMI services, which is good, but I was also told it was a 12 month wait .. whats new .. I was ok with that too .. ... used to be last in the queue and long wait times.

Take care Apple

[supernova]

Hi @Cossack,

Welcome to the Forums and thanks so much for your post.

You raise such an interesting point about the adjustment to life back in the community after experiencing homelessness. I imagine (and I could be wrong) that there is somewhat of a collective assumption that once you have a roof over your head, everything is supposed to be “okay”. And in fact, this probably couldn’t be further from the truth! In your experience @Cossack, are the difficulties you’ve had with post homelessness depression mostly related to the grief of those difficult times – no stability, living in fear of violence, suicides, feeling outcast and look down upon by the public – or more around how homelessness has changed how you see the world? Or perhaps maybe a bit of both?

Thanks for your post @Appleblossom – it sounds like the experience of homelessness has also had quite a significant effect on your life as well. I wonder if any other users have had similar experiences and can continue the conversation?

Keep posting @Cossack – I think you have an important message to share.

All the best,
supernova.

[Cossack]

@Appleblossom, I have heard of many others who have had tenure on properties such as rentals and become a crying mess when they are going to be late in paying the rent. The fear of losing, again, what has been gained is too often a story of post homelessness. 

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Cossack

Yes, I can imagine their sense of terror.  Whenever a wound is profound it is very easy to "knock the scab" off the top and be deeply triggered again.

I hope your son and you are somewhere safe and have some sense of security.

There are also the issue that come with levels of density ... how much sharing needed can be stressors.

With my connection with the Martin Place people there were the stories of suicide, DHHS involvement, war involvement, physical disabilities and 2 deaths in the community on the one day... so confonting ... and NO they were NOT CATASTROPHISING.  I had visited them in the evening and they were more upbeat, but the next morning they were subdued and their stories checked out later online.

 I was undergoing healing, as I could talk naturally without censoring myself, and one person knew some of the institutions I had been in, and then another knew others .. so a sense of solidarity just happened, but it is also a part of my past.

[Kurra]

I lived on the streets for a substantial period @Cossack. It was a dark and frightening time for an older woman on her own. Strangely I eventually lost that fear and had no qualms about claiming my park bench.

MacDonalds was a god send because of their bottomless cups of coffee and just before closing they would often bring around left over food.
When I eventually manage to get proper accommodation with a lot of help from the police, I found it very difficult to sleep inside and frequently slept on the concrete balcony.
As for post homelessness depression I can't really comment as I was already severely depressed. I had no bed or furniture so I kept on sleeping on the floor.
I do know that I've never lost the delight of pushing a button and I have light! So many other everyday things like being able to shower everyday, wash my clothes and not fear they would be stolen unless I was wearing. I also found it very lonely moving away from the homeless community and would often visit just for the company. 🎶💕