Lived Experience Forum

[john74]

Hi l am in a mess because of the family breakdown in late 2022 and l want to show my adult children l still care despite no contact for over 12 months. I am wondering should l send them a message wishing them a happy birthday despite one living with my toxic ex and her birthday was the 7 th December. I am so scared of my ex blowing up if l do but the kids will think l don't care and l probably won't ever hear from.them again. So scared a d don't know what to do because l love them dearly. 

[AussieRecharger]

Hey @john74 , Lot going on here mate and it's not really about the message. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of feelings from the past and it would be good for you to reach out to someone and talk about them.  On the birthday card front, unless you have been ordered not to do it, I can't see why you would have an issue. Whatever the toxic people say will be more about their feelings than yours, so you should just make sure you have a support person around to help you deal with any feelings or issues that arise.