Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

May be triggering for some… Sometimes it’s an image. Other days it could be an article in the news. It may be a particular scent carried along on the breeze. Or it could be the sound of that voice behind me as I patiently wait in line at the post office. But it paralyses me. It stops me in my tracks. It is there. I can’t escape it. I am fearful. I am angry. I despise myself. And it cuts so deep, like a dagger to my chest. the feeling passes. For another minute, annother, hour, another day. But it will be back. This continual cycle of reliving trauma.

[Ilovepenguins]

Hey @Former-Member, welcome to the Sane forums 💚

I can relate to your post regarding the trauma responses you're describing and it can be really awful, and even debilitating at times, it definitely is a cycle that can be hard, if not sometimes impossible to escape from, I'm so sorry that you're feeling so much distress from it.

You show a lot of self awareness around what is triggering for you, thats a huge strength you should be proud of 😀

[Former-Member]

I have been on the forums @Ilovepenguins before, needed a break. But thank you for the warm welcome ☺️

[Ilovepenguins]

Well then @Former-Member, I should say welcome back 🤣 I'm glad you've rejoined us!

[MissMuffet]

Hello @Former-Member 

Sorry to hear you have these moments. It sounds like they are really intense for you.

The body is very good at storing memories physically. Often when we experience trauma we experience emotions and visceral reactions that don't get processed correctly after the fact. So what you are feeling is very real.

You sound like you are able to cope once the feeling passes, but as you said, it could be triggered again at any time.

I don't know what you have experienced or what you have tried in the past to deal with your trauma. But I want to let you know that there is help available. There is a type of therapy called EMDR which can help us to process traumatic experiences in a safe way, helping to release those physical and emotional attachments so we don't have to keep reliving them. I have used this therapy in the past with a psychologist and it can be done under a Mental Health Treatment Plan. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member I am wondering if this kind cyclical pattern is more the way of healing and processing trauma.  I have finally been getting the hang of it, and integrating lessons from my triggers.  As I do that I am not triggered for as long and seem to be recovering.  Honestly for decades it felt truly cyclical for me same old same old, but maybe its not completely random. Only you can really make sense of your triggers .... wishing you the best with it.

[Former-Member]

It’s really difficult @Appleblossom for me to write about it, I just attempt to block it out, I have so much going on in my life right now, but I know something will eventually trigger the memory. Im sorry, I feel as though my head is stuffed with cotton wool tonight. 🙁

[Former-Member]

Hello @MissMuffet., thanks for replying 🙂I have heard of EMDR, my doctor did recommend it some time ago, but it’s another therapy, isn’t it? I’ve been through so many therapies. I’m exhausted. 

[TideisTurning]

Hey @Former-Member, & welcome to Forums 😊 I'm TideisTurning, one of the peer workers here. 

I just wanted to stop in and say you're not alone with these difficult experiences of ' trauma hauntings' as I like to call them- I hear your exhaustion too. It's tough to live with and not to know if/when another trigger may arise. Here with you and wishing you whatever strength and courage may be needed to get through 💙

[MissMuffet]

Yes, unfortunately it is. I totally get that, sometimes you just get all therapied out!

I often take long breaks and when I feel therapy could be beneficial I go back to it again. But I don't like to force it because otherwise it's a waste of time if I'm not interested.

Maybe keep it in your back pocket for if you feel like therapy in the future...