Lived Experience Forum

[Sahara]

Hi everyone,

this is a philosophical post, more than anything. 

I live in a very small town. Since moving here over 2 years ago, I've had abut 5 different jobs.... and have been treated very badly in 4 of them. 

Business owners in this town do not pay award wages, for the most part! They expect you to work un-paid over-time on top of that..... one job I had only gave me one 10 minute break in a 7.5 hour shift. 

Another job underpaid me just over $1000 dollars in the course of a fortnight and I had to take them to the fair work commission. (long story) That same boss also said I was 'fat' and tried to make it into a joke. (by the way, I'm not fat; I'm just not anorexic like she was.)

Another employer stated "I cannot afford to pay you this week". So I left that job.

In another job, my boss spoke sarcastically to me and also underpaid me around $3 to $10 per hour, depending on the day...(you are supposed to be paid a higher rate on weekends.) I left that job too.

This morning, there is a meeting on in town for small business owners to discuss the problem of trying to retain staff and recruit new staff. Apparently, they are having trouble getting people to work for them? Really???

If you were me, would you go to the meeting to see the kind of things they are saying about their staff, or would you run in the opposite direction? 

I keep feeling I want to go to the meeting, sit in the back row and observe what goes down. Only, I know I will feel extremely self-conscious and anxious if I go. I don't really know exactly how it will effect me. I think I am still angry about how I was treated. I keep asking myself "What do I hope to gain by going?" Especially since I don't want to say anything.... just observe them.

I guess I must want to prove to myself how stupid and ignorant these people really are. But I already know that.

[Former-Member]

I guess you are looking for validation @Sahara. I think that's what is driving your need to go. It sounds like a crappy situation. Would that validation be worth the stress and anxiety. Maybe it is???
Let me know what you decide just for curiosity sake 💜🤗

[Sahara]

Hi @Former-Member,

Thanks for writing. I really did not think anyone would respond....

Yes, I am looking for validation... But now I am thinking that it isn't worth the toll it might take on me. When I first read the notice about the meeting in town, I felt my heart race and a type on panic rise within me. It subsided pretty quickly, but it's likely the panic would return at the meeting. I am good at covering up how I feel and I'm unlikely to say something I'd regret, or burst into tears or anything like that...

But I suppose it isn't worth it. Why put myself through that?

Just knowing that they have to call a meeting because they can't retain any staff is validation enough.

Also, the meeting is likely to be small... 10 people or less- I can't imagine people could afford to leave their under-staffed businesses for long! So I would be conspicuous.... I might even be put on the spot. Dunno. 

I am leaning towards not going.

[Former-Member]

Sounds like a plan @Sahara. It would be something you could carry for ages if it went pear shaped for you for some reason. Not worth the hassle or emotional investment. Maybe spend that time enjoying a cuppa or doing something for you instead. 💜🤗

[Sahara]

Hi @Former-Member,

I didn't go to the meeting. In fact, I went out for coffee with my hubby instead! Exactly as you suggested, as it turns out. 

Now I have a sense of calm within me. I really don't have to get involved in any public debates about anything. I don't have to be a revolutionary! I can leave that to to other people. 

I think I will just do some meditation and relaxation today.

Thanks so much for your concern, @Former-Member. You are ace! ❤️

[Appleblossom]

@Sahara I just saw this post. I also guess that being a committed art & community worker you were interested. For me it helps to know that you can and do care beyond the little picture.  Glad that you didnt waste more energy on it tho ... and glad you posted here.

[Sahara]

Thanks @Appleblossom,

yes, I care about the community and I care about what might happen to other workers in our town.... I thought that by going to the meeting I might gain some insight into what employers think is the problem - just so I can understand their perspective. 

In hind-sight I'm very glad that I didn't go.... I mean, really, if it has become such a huge issue that they need to band together to resolve it... then I doubt they are capable of really learning from experience and working out why employees leave them. It's not like I was ever offered an 'exit interview' or anything.

It's not like they were ever handing out 'employee satisfaction surveys' or anything in these jobs! No way... I never flet like I was valued at any of these places. 

I think I'll keep my distance and let them resolve it. 

[Appleblossom]

Yep

I am learning to do that with the church ... it was doing my head in .. trying to maintain loyalty despite the fact that abuses were rife ... 

Glad I "met" you @Sahara