Coping with negative/suicidal thoughts.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Keep swimming Hon ..... just keep swimming.  Selling up your old home is a new beginning.  I hope the one you are looking at comes through for you.  It looks beautiful and like it could be a really cozy home.

You have so much to give, and life changes ahead of you yet.  You are a survivor, a fighter ..... just keep taking that next step and see where it leads.

When you are tired and overwhelmed, stop and rest awhile .....

Here and listening.  You are doing an amazing job with your Dad, but take care of you too .....

Be a friend to yourself.

Baby steps.

Hugs n hugs ...... ❤️❤️❤️

@Former-Member

[Owlunar]

That's really tough stuff @Former-Member

I know about miscarriages, loss of a child, divorce, crappy family members -  all of these things and how devastating they are - when my ex hit me and my son the first time the police were involved - the second time I threatened him with the police if he didn't leave and he left

My parents have both gone now and TS was a real control freak about all of that - so I get it - 

But I don't know what to say about so much SI - and this I do believe is that your are entitled to feel that way and yes - for a time in the past after my son died I felt that way but not since - so I guess it's very bleak to feel that way and have triggers - and I feel really sad for you because you are the magical person in your family of Cinderella's relations - you are the best really

So - yes - when you father has gone why not organise the funeral and use the cash you have for a tour and leave them to it - they are going to hash it over and over and I already know you can't please these people who all want your job for whatever glory they see in the hard yards you are doing and wow - how nit-picky and pissy they are

You are not like them - just as I am not like my family - but here we are and I have read back on the thread about how tough things have been for you

I really enjoy my life - in spite of all the stuff in my past that is similar - I enjoy my trips - planning them and going to wherever I go and it's fantastic to be home

So yes - I know - driving back to the old house to clear it out and leave it forever is hard - my old house is a couple of streets away from here and I keep away from it - and before my father died I had no idea how I would deal with it - but I did - terrible time though

I am puzzling my head though because I do not feel as you do - and you have the right to feel that way and I will not take it away from you - but to me life is worth it. We only get one life and I am making the most of it. We are unique and God loves us

I wish I could be more useful to you Lapses - I do love you and care a lot

Dec

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member Looking back like that certainly puts things in perspective.  You are def a SURVIVOR.

There are levels of managing those really difficult thoughts. 

You have things to do which might help keep you on the path.

I hope the thoughts become more a thing of the past ... and you grow into your new stage of peaceful retirement.... the autumn stage ...

[Former-Member]

Thank you all - make me cry - good tears. Cried at church this morning. Not gonna panicvor presumevi'm not copingvbecause I burst into tears easy, I'll just plod along. Actually might go sit in the garden and thank MrUniverse for the sunshine and greenery and birds around. Thanks again 🙂

[outlander]

@Former-Member

[outlander]

@Former-Member just popping in to let you know im thinking of you ❤

[Former-Member]

Thank you @outlander 🙂 @outlander, Nice & quiet over here :0 Are you having SI?  We haven't chatted a while - you OK? I've had a bumpy week but proud of myself for not giving up. Not that i had SI much, just wanted to slip into a coma or something quiet. Closest I got was Wed where I had to lay down, have a cry, and couldn't get up for x4 hours. Thought I wasn't gonna be able to move again, but when dad came in looking for help to tuck in, I could move. Do you ever get paralysed like that? Pleased to say things have eased today, but I had days of catchup with washing etc, neglected all week firing on 1/2 cylinders

But how about you?

How was today?

[outlander]

Hello lovely @Former-Member
I am proud of you too for not giving up. I have had those paralyzing times. They can be pretty scary and also draining too. Its usually a sign that things are too much and you need rest. The things your going through i think would be contributing too.

Dont go anywhere, you mean way to much to me and others here and ill be selfish here in saying i would miss you to much for you to leave this earth. I am only a tag away when things get tough and you need some support ok?

I had quite the meltdown tonight. Lostmy shite quite abit but have calmed abit now. And just have music on chatting here and flicking on and off fb. I am safe etc just not coping well at all.really high SI indeed. I have slipped so far down it is worrying me. I cant seem to bring myself up i just keep slipping further. I need to get through the weekend then try to bring my pdoc appt forward and i see a new gp on wednesday. Im still on the waitlist for a psychologist so i cant do much about that.
Sorry for the ramble...

[Former-Member]

Not rambling @outlander, sorry the day was so difficult for you. Strong emotions & negative thoughts 😞 Really hope a good night's rest resets the balance for you. Sorry I dropped out before, fell asleep doing this post twice now. Been so tired. Do take care xox

[outlander]

How are you going tonight? @Former-Member