Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

So we're saying that there are barriers to men seeking help but are we also saying that there are barriers within the help itself?  Are there ways that the mental health sector is failing men?  Is that something you have a perspective on @Glen-MensLineAu?

[Adge]

Wow @Shaz51 I'm sorry to hear that.

I've rarely experienced as much empathy or support from a male psychologist, although I know that many are very good.

I am also far less comfortable (or able) to express my feelings or struggles to a fellow male.

I've made the most progress & have felt best able to express myself, to a woman (female) psychologist.

I did see a male Jungian Analyst (Clincal Psychologist) many years ago - he was very good & empathetic.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Shaz51 @soul The number of unhelpful mental health professionals out there is a whooooooole other topic! I am certain that Mr Shaz's attitude of giving up after psychologist take-three is painfully common.

[Former-Member]

Welcome @Phoenix_Rising 🙂

[Former-Member]

My Mr Darcy has also struggled to find a therapist that he has connected with. I ended up having to let the treating team know that he did not engage with particular types of therapy, which I suspect are still being touted as he feels that he has not been given any resources to help him cope but finds the one he has now is easier to talk to.

[Glen-MensLineAu]

Yes, that’s definitely one of the factors that contribute to the high stats of male suicide for sure. It’s one of the most common contributors for mental health issues being such a challenge that some males in our community don’t reach out soon enough…that is true. There are services out there that can be of support. The important thing is to make a choice. Things may not be ideal but with your mental health, as it would be with physical health, it’s important to make a conscious choice that you’ll do whatever it takes to see things get better. We can’t always control what’s going on around us...but we can control our choices to reach out for support.

[Former-Member]

might not be relevant... but i think right from teens/older boys who struggle in noticeable ways are labelled as bad/naughty/rebellious and not supported for underlying reasons. lots of social pressure on boys not to seek help.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Former-Member I think there is possibly a "barrier within the help itself" in terms of gender biases regarding diagnosis. For example, a psychologist told me once that if I was male, I would most likely have been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder rather than BPD. This makes me wonder how many men with BPD have erroneously been diagnosed with APD.

[soul]

Do you think that the type of help needs to be addressed? My partner had seen at least six different practitioners but seems to be doing better attending men's support groups. The last doctor told him that he didn't have BPD because if he did, he wouldn't know or admit to it. 

I still however get the feeling he doesn't open up completely because he doesn't want to look too bad in front of the others. So there's still that male pride thing happening. 

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member

I totally agree. Teenage years seem to be where boys are mostly influenced to not seek help.. and therefore that early intervention isn't there. Which then can cause for more difficulties that went unsolved or untreated later on.