Lived Experience Forum

[Teej]

I’m not sure if I’ve got what you meant before but I’ll have a go because it sounds really interesting. I interpreted it to mean that you may see something that’s changed or as growth but others looking from the outside can’t see it. In my case I’m still very dysfunctional but I know I think about things very differently now. I see that as growth but it’s invisisble to others. Am I close 😜

[suzanne]

Exactly @Phoenix_Rising   

[Teej]

Oops @Former-Member above post by me :face_with_rolling_eyes:. Forgot to tag. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Mazarita your comment about having experienced childhood trauma despite this not being part of your diagnosis reminded me why I don't subscribe to the medical model of mental illness. The vast majority (not all, but the vast majority) of people with a diagnosed mental health condition have a history of trauma. I so badly wish the medical world would wake up to this fact! 

[Former-Member]

@suzanne Thank you so much for responding to that bit! 

short version.

To stop the abuse from happening, I chose (had )to remove myself from all those who could pass on information about me to those who were doing the abuse. (can't properly describe it here)

thus I have withdrawn from all family (origin and children and extended), I do not socialise. In other words I am a hermit and it works for me most of the time. I could not even consider the trust issues of reconnecting with any family even though all psych info says I should. 

[CheerBear]

It also reminds me of the potential difference in experience between trauma that can occur by accident or as a natural event vs that which can happen in relationships, especially with people in positions of authority or trust @Mazarita. Tricky stuff!

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Former-Member I walked away from my only surviving family of origin (two siblings) thirteen years ago. Best thing I ever did! 

[Former-Member]

I also have no contact with any family of origin for same reason @Former-Member 😞

[Former-Member]

@Teej I thnk you have it. To me the growth can be anything from the tiniest seeming 'well, I put that together without having to resort to tears', to something that can be huge like going to the supermarket. 

Me, I went further to save myself. I cut off from the outside world almost entirely. That's frowned upon by pretty much everyone. But it is how I saved myself, and how I continue to save myself.

Just being here, typing these q's and a's is suuuuchhhh a stressful and tearful and heartbreaking experience for me. 

This is growth, I'm reaching out trying to find answers to unanswerable questions. 

[suzanne]

Thank you so much everyone who joined us tonight.  I think it was a really interesting discussion and could only be that way with all of your input.  

We'll keep it open tonight for anyone to add further thoughts and experiences.

Also, we've had a couple of members share their distress tonight, so please make sure you take care of yourself if this has been an upsetting discussion.  Reach out to a loved one or a helpline if you need help settling.  

Lifeline 13 11 14.  The Help Centre is open until 10pm also. 1800 18 7263 or web chat.

Thanks again everyone.  So much food for thought.