ARCVIC

So...you know it's a bad therapy session when you are in such crisis and so chaotic you call the SANE helpline WHILE YOU ARE STILL IN THE THERAPY SESSION WITH THE THERAPIST SITTING THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is not good for the therapist to take a phone call from another client ten seconds into the session. It is REALLY not good when a random stranger knocks on the door during the session. It is ESPECIALLY not good for the therapist to then try to soothe the distressed client by touching her without first asking, and it is ABSOLUTELY DEFINITELY not good to ask the by now completely out of control client if the therapist should call an ambulance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And thus endeth the relationship with therapist-take-eleven. I'm not even entirely sure who ended it. I think in my brain I was already thinking I would be sacking her, but she sacked me as a client before I had the chance to sack her...so I guess you'd say it was mutual.

I can't do this anymore. I am done. Somehow I need to figure out how to fix my muddle on my own. I know (A) is there as a form of social support, and I deeply value that. However we both know that she doesn't know how to actually help me. And the reality is that I simply cannot try for therapist-take-twelve. An incident like today just further fries my brain. Somehow (and right now I have no idea how), I need to figure out how to heal my scrambled brain on my own.

@CheerBear methinks I am going to snuggle into your pocket with Squishy and Mr Seahorse and never ever come out. Right now your pocket is the safest place in the world for me.

@NikNik super big gigantic thank you for creating Forum Land because right now this forum and the eternally patient and caring @Former-Member @Former-Member and @Former-Member on the end of the phone are pretty much holding this little turtle together.

I want to fix my brain NOW...but I think today and most likely tomorrow, and probably the day after that, and the one after that is going to be all about just trying to ride this current absurdly large wave. Thank you for riding with me.