Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member, you're raising one of my pet peeves about how schools aren't really set up to bring out the best in boys.  All that sitting down for starters!  I wonder if the mental health system might be the same in some ways.

[Shaz51]

@Glen-MensLineAu, @Former-Member, yes that is another factor now with my Husband is age , being 57 he is feeling

[Phoenix_Rising]

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@Glen-MensLineAu wrote:

 We can’t always control what’s going on around us...but we can control our choices to reach out for support.

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@Glen-MensLineAu but sadly we can't control the quality of support that is available. I have settled with the tenth therapist I have seen in twelve months. She is far from ideal, but I'm too traumatized from therapist shopping to try again. I can totally understand why people give up after several attempts at trying to find support.

[Quilly]

Hullo Glen, thank you for contributing tonight.
Although I am female, I engage in conversation with men when we are in hospital and I find that when we try to talk about mental illness, we lack the language to explain our experience.
We have jargon, "I'm unwell" does not sufficiently express our peculiar moods not related to our life, our urges to avoid unwanted emotions etc.
How can we make it okay to have feelings? Okay to experience opposite emotions? ie anger instead of sadness

[Shaz51]

I totally agree @Former-Member xx

[Former-Member]

Great point @Phoenix_Rising.  This conversation is making me reflect more on not only if diagnosis has a bias but if treatment does too.  @Glen-MensLineAu, I hope you don't feel bombarded by this discussion, but I wonder if you've found any sort of biases in diagnosis and treatment?  Or if there are particular therapeutic approaches that you find more useful in treating men?  Another big question right at ya 🙂

[Adge]

@Former-MemberYes that makes sense. Between age 10 & early teens was when I experienced SA - yet my parents were completely unaware.

I felt unable to disclose that SA until over 30 years later, for the very first time. That disclosure was to a psychologist, who was also the first professional to diagnose my Complex PTSD.

[Former-Member]

@Glen-MensLineAu
Mr Darcy was seeking help, he was looking after his own mental health, he was compliant with his meds but due to his inability to articulate his symptoms he was becoming increasingly suicidal and attempted. It was only after I actively stepped in as his carer, looked things up and learned about mental illness that I realised things that had happened were symptoms and these things had not been understood or said, because of this the treatment he had been given was iatrogenic.

[Phoenix_Rising]

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@soul wrote:

 The last doctor told him that he didn't have BPD because if he did, he wouldn't know or admit to it. 

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@soul Good to know the stereotypical attitudes regarding BPD are still alive and well amongst mental health professionals in 2017. One of my failed therapist attempts last year told me that I couldn't have BPD because he liked me when he met me and people with BPD aren't likeable.

[redheaded]

I totally get the diagnosis bias especially with PDs.

And what do you guys think about transmasculine, in my experience ftm have even more issues trying to get help/support.