Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

Hello @Shakeelah25  we still got another hour my friend

[Mazarita]

Some of the things that make me feel better within the framework of my mental illness:

• making the bed every day
• getting out of the flat each day if possible
• doing my washing regularly
• showering regularly
• keeping up my creative pursuits
• being with other people I love
• walking on the beach

A lot of the things that help me are also things I struggle to do almost every day.

[Queenie]

For me, recovery is a spectrum. There's no hard and fast rules to say when you have recovered or when you'll reach recovery. Something to consider in my recovery is my level of functioning, which I believe goes hand in hand with my level of recovery. Eleven years on from my first diagnosis, I would say (like an old Sane book of the year), I am recovered, not cured. I will probably always have my diagnosis, but that doesn't mean I cannot recover and reach a level of functionality which mirrors that of my peers. Things like getting up in the morning and either studying, or eventually pursuing a career of my choice, having successful close interpersonal relationships with people I care about (and who care about me), making positive life choices which are individual to me.

Sure, I'll have my dips and bad times, are the road to recovery and healing is not linear.

[Shakeelah25]

what you say about having interpersonal relationships with people you care about and others who care about you--that's so what I want myself! The positive life choices too.

[Lauz]

Welcome @Queenie - thank you for this perspective. I like how you have differentiated 'recovered' from 'cured'

[Queenie]

They are attainable goals to have @Shakeelah25. I've recently had an uproar of feelings towards people I care about, but who do not care about me (therefore not an investable relationship if that at all makes sense). I have a few close relationships which are rewarding and operate on a successful two-way street... the way it should be.

[Former-Member]

I don't think Mr D will feel he has recovered unless he has something meaningful to do.

I think that reaching the acceptance phase in the grief of a diagnosis, which encompasses the limitations of the diagnosis is somehow involved in this. Then there is the matter of opportunity ...

[Mazarita]

@frog, yes, we seem to have similar perspectives on this. I like what you say about it being a movement in the best direction to let go of fantasies of complete cure in cases like ours. I agree that acceptance is not easy, perhaps it comes in waves over time. 

Having said that, I know there is a big difference between me in an out of control bipolar state and where I am now, which is relatively stable, or at least without the huge extreme swings of mood I used to experience. In this sense I have reached some degree of 'remission' through medication, therapy and self growth. But the picture of my life (to those who know me) doesn't look much at all like 'the norm' and is not likely to ever resemble that really.

[Shakeelah25]

wow, I relate so much. I'm so tired of putting in the effort in friendships and it just not be reciprocated. So undervalued. I am kind of tired of waiting though. This has been an issue for me like my whole life. Everyone else has like a bff they have known since kindergarten

[frog]

I think you're onto something @Mazarita re acceptance perhaps coming in waves over time. I really like that analogy. On my better days I see myself as riding the waves of emotion, anxiety, whatever comes my way. Acceptance underpins this. The question about what we can do to feel good ... I am working on self compassion and self care.