Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Goodnight, @MDT. I hope you sleep well. 

[Shaz51]

hello @outlander

Hubby has be told he has BPD and not fully tested and he won`t do DBT and has cancelled all help so love to read about it

[outlander]

Well your more than welcome anyway @Shaz51

If u have questions u can as too 🙂

@Former-Member has linked the topic tuesday maybe you could take a read there too?

[Former-Member]

Morning @outlander, @Shaz51, @MDT and anyone else who is around.

@Shaz51 was part of the Topic Tuesday discussion. 🙂 If you have any specific questions though, Shaz51, please ask and we'll do our best to answer. 

I hope today is kind to you all. 🌷

[outlander]

Morning @Former-Member ❤

[MDT]

hi

[MDT]

how are you all?

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @MDT,

I'm curious to hear why you are concerned about getting a label of BPD. That's all it is you know - a label. You will get that label simply by having an "expert" tick 5 of the 9 diagnostic criteria (i.e. boxes) that together make up BPD. That's it. Nothing about you will change.

I am extremely glad I was diagnosed very quickly with BPD after I started having issues in my late teens. It seems to me that a lot of people wander around with a whole shopping list of diagnoses before they finally get diagnosed with BPD. I believe in the value of the principle of Ockham's raz*r. That is, the simplest explanation is usually the best one.

BPD is treatable. I know that if I had been able to do DBT when I was first diagnosed, I would most likely be in a very different space now. As someone else mentioned, medication isn't hugely effective for BPD. I have been medication-free for most of my 20 year psychiatric history. When I have been on medication, I've only ever been on one medication at a time (either an anti-depressant or a mood stabilizer). The practice guidelines around BPD say that while it is fine to use medication to treat common co-morbid issues such as depression, it shouldn't be used as a first-line approach to treating BPD itself.

I think you also asked about the abandonment stuff didn't you @MDT? For me, this was very much what got me labelled with BPD. Someone that I was super close to pushed me away and the more he pushed me away, the more I clung...until he took out a restraining order. This has been a repeated pattern throughout my life - the last time someone threatened legal action if I didn't stay away from them was in last December. So yeah, I super struggle with people walking into my world and then walking out again.

I am now coping with this in the same way as @Former-Member described - I won't ever let anyone in again. That's why I don't identify anyone here in Forum Land as a "friend." I know from a bazillion past experiences that "friends" always end up leaving.

If you start reading up on BPD, you will find that it is diagnosed far more often in women than men.

Anyway, I don't know if any of that is helpful. Feel free to keep asking questions @MDT.

[outlander]

Thanks for all the info @Phoenix_Rising ive still got heaps to learn too about bpd.

I think with my abanonment issues they came because for me i craved love from well mum etc but i never really got it and was just emotionally abused.
This is the only place im open (well as can be anyway)
My friends i always ended up just starting to trust and they would leave me.

I dont really know how to act around people that well. I mean manners yes but other than that i can hardly keep a conversation running.

Love is something i feel like i nee and want but at the same time im afraid of it

[outlander]

*and that ill just end up hurting everyone that i meet.